Because a quick screw is your solution to everything
by Titanic-fanatic
Summary: Reader x Levi. You and Levi always argue, it was a given but you saved his life for Wall Maria's sake, you'd think he would have been a bit happier about the situation. Ungrateful bastard. The team offer some suggestions but Oluo's adds 'a new dimension' to your relationship...oneshot


**Because a Quick Screw is your Solution to Everything**

"I had him!" he insists in a gruff bark.

"_You_ were going to get pulled down"

"I didn't ask for your help _brat_" he seethes.

"Without _my_ help you wouldn't be here shit head"

"_What_ did you just call me?" he asks in that manner that sounds all too much like pulling rank to your ears.

"Sorry, let me try again" you smile with feigned sweetness "Without me saving your ass from that 15 meter class you wouldn't be fucking breathing, _Heichou_" you continue, letting your irritation bite at every word you utter. You've been arguing since the final titan of the mission was slain. You had put an end to the creature, which of course was met with contention by him. You saved his life for Wall Maria's sake, you'd think he would have been a bit happier about the situation. Ungrateful bastard.  
Now you were back in HQ, safe and sound, still protesting that you were right in your actions...and an apology wouldn't be completely out of the question, would it? He must have thought you were stealing his thunder or something, arrogant ass that he is. You hear Levi's footsteps halt behind you, he clearly wasn't expecting the response just given. Sensing his rage swelling up inside him, you continue walking.

"You _shitty-mouthed brat_! I had it covered and don't need some fresh out of training kid interfering or telling me otherwise!" he proceeds, following you into the kitchen.

"_You_ selected _me_ for your unit" you point out, turning to face him, eyes ablaze. They meet, just about. He still has a few centimetres on you despite being a short-ass.

Mike chuckled from the table, earning a glare from Levi.

"I'm beginning to regret that decision" he grits, grabbing this morning's abandoned paperwork from the nearby counter. He cuts past you in a bluster, joining your comrade at the table in the middle of the room.  
"You say that but you don't mean it" you dispel lightly, putting the kettle on the stove to boil "Last week I was being sent to the garrison wasn't I?" you muse. The question is directed to rest of the unit, not just him "I forget"  
You can practically hear his jaw setting in a death glare directed at your back whilst Mike is clears his throat, stifling a laugh at your guts. Olou indifferently leans against the door frame whilst Hange is preoccupied rooting through the cupboard for something or other.

It's a common occurrence, you and Levi scrapping like dogs, in a verbal sense of course...unless you count that time where you were arguing in training and up ended up having an actual brawl. Well, it began as more of a hand to hand challenge that escalated into a fist fight meets wrestling match. He'd started it by saying you would never beat him! However, no matter how trivial your disputes, you would always be professional on duty and save the mud slinging for later...or make up...or decide to just drop it...you've never really thought about it in great depth. He was a funny one Levi. Needless to say the unit were used to this.

You smirk, recalling the look on his face when Erwin had to break you apart. It was priceless, especially as he told Levi his ass had been handed to him. You grab three cups for tea; for Mike, Levi despite being furious with his attitude today, and yourself.

"The pair of you need to relax, vent in another way which doesn't end in a quarrel" Hange suggests, ransacking another cupboard.

"Yeah because we don't do enough physical activity as it is, do we?" Mike sarcastically muses as you hand him a cup and start pouring. Your eyes rest on Levi with a thin and suspicious stare; he's reading a report, not paying attention. Was he giving you the silent treatment? How immature.

"Why don't you two just fuck each other and be done with it?" Oluo remarks flippantly, inspecting his nails.

You are so bewildered that you nearly lose grip of the kettle, spilling tea onto the table. Shit. Nobody noticed your near-jerk reaction thankfully. Or so you believe until the weight of someone's eyes falls on your crown. Lifting your gaze you meet none other than Heichou's flat expression. It makes you blink dumbly. You expect him to drop it back to his papers unaffectedly after a second but find it remains still: fixated on your face. He's thinking about something, you can see it shifting in his slate eyes and a now slightly raised eyebrow.

Everyone else continues the conversation, oblivious to this exchange.

"Oh because a quick screw is your solution to everything?" Mike retorts, taking his cup as he rises, heading toward his friend.

"Hey it's got to work some time?" Olou grins, leaving the kitchen with him.

"Men" you snuff, rolling your eyes as an excuse to break the uncomfortable contact. Grabbing a tea towel you wipe up the spill and start pouring for Levi. He's already gone back to reading. Whatever he was thinking had clearly bypassed him now.

"Well that shut you up" Hange notes in elation, more so to finding her biscuits you presume. She leaves, ripping open the packet and suddenly you are alone with your Captain.

Assuming the seat Mike had just vacated, you slide your peace offering into his line of vision. The china sounding against the grain of the wood occupying the silence. Turning your attentions to your own drink, you nurse it contemplatively.

_'That was a ridiculous idea. Even for Oluo. You and Levi would never work. We'd probably end up arguing about who was better in bed!'_

The next sound is Levi's papers shuffling and his weight shifting in his chair. You look up, abruptly dropping your train of thought and see he is sipping his tea; a common signal that an argument was over. You watch him curiously for a moment or two, inappropriate thoughts swelling up in your mind.

_'It wouldn't be the __**worst**__ thing in the world. His body would be fantastic...years of training and fighting Titans would make for a fine physique...and he isn't bad looking, even go as far to say as handsome. I wonder how old he is...hang on, since when would you go as far as to say that? Why am I even considering this?'_

"You know…it wasn't a bad suggestion" Levi begins, not diverting his attention from his work.

You look at him incredulously over the rim of your cup, thank god you hadn't taken a sip or you'd be choking on it right now.

"Unless you think another session 'talking it out' with Hange as mediator would be a good idea?" he asks, lifting a brow once more.

"God, it was like psychotherapy" you remember with a dire tone, eyes widening.

"She's the one who needs a psychiatrist" he mutters "Titan freak"

You smirk, his dry sense of humor catching you off guard.

_'He does make me laugh, sadistic bugger..No!'_

"Or perhaps another official hearing with Erwin?" he continues, turning the page passively.

"Which always results in the conclusion of me 'being indispensable to the unit'?" you remind him after setting your drink down "Weren't those your words, Heichou?"

Over the edge of his report you can see Levi's steel stare narrow into daggers, focusing on the writing, unaware you've clocked his reaction.

"You _need_ me Captain, admit it" you smirk proudly.

"I can't believe he told you that" he mutters, now sounding pissed off at Erwin.

"He didn't. I just know" you reveal, hitching your heels onto the edge of your chair. Knees up, you wind your arms around them comfortably, fishing for his gaze. Through his strands of ebony hair, you note that his lips thin curve into what you could swear was a smirk.

"So presumptuous" he utters under his breath.

"So guarded" you mock.

He huffs, not looking up and resuming the silence.

A few sips of tea later you find yourself going back to Oluo's 'suggestion'. Not that you are entertaining the idea seriously...but what would he be like? Tender or passionate? You can't really picture him as anything other than the twisted humoured, blasé soldier with an OCD for cleanliness. This is where your imagination fails you; he isn't close to anyone to give you a point of reference. Actually, now you consider it, you speak with him the most...be it in irritation, or as you like to view it banter, admittedly. He never reprimands you for the way you speak to him, really you should have been disciplined for it long ago. Did he have a soft spot for you? If Oluo had said half the things you have he'd be eternally cleaning this castle. You stop yourself right there, eyes latching on the edge of his nose as he tilting his head to the side. Following its slight curvature you rest on his lips, lingering there without realising.

"You didn't give me an answer" he says as casually as asking to pass the sugar.

"You didn't ask me a question _sir_" you retort with a half laugh.

'_Why was he persisting with this nonsense?'_

Surveying his sharp features you conclude he his strength and intelligence are present in them, adding to Levi's decidedly handsome face. His Adam's apple appears from under his cravat, distracting your increasingly liberal musings.

"I'm not hearing a no" he says, finally flickering his gaze at you. It just so happens you are looking at him in a side glance as he does so.

"Undressing me with your eyes cadet?" he inquires as though asking about the weather.

"No" you protest firmly, adamant not to let him have a one-up on you.

"I can read you like a book, soldier" he says, shaking his head in a knowing manner.

"Okay. Try me" you challenge.

He leans over and pulls your chair to face him properly with a single arm. Levi brings his face a few centimetres from yours, delving straight into your eyes with a deep focus often reserved for drawing up battle plans.

"You're rattled" he begins, eyes darting to your unwittingly fidgeting fingers "You are frustrated in more ways than one…and you take your anger out on me because I am the only one who can give as good as he gets"

_Shit_. He's realised it before you have.

"Wrong" you lie. He knows its a lie as well as you do but skirts around it.

"Don't tell me you have some misguided notion of waiting on love?" he supposes, reclining back into his seat in expectation.

"Not bloody likely" you snuff "We live in a world of near extinction because of titans. Not only that, we live on the front line...I could die tomorrow for all I know... love takes time that we don't have".

You didn't realise you could be so poetic and ponder your own response.

"So what's stopping you" he says in a matter of fact tone.

You can't really argue with that. Staring at him you can't come to terms with the fact that he was actually implying they take one of Oluo's suggestions seriously. Especially..._this_. Did he want to? Why else would he be so persistent?

His sliver eyes shackle onto yours, awaiting a response.

"Are you still arguing?" Hange pops her head in, seeing us looking apparently at loggerheads. Your mouth is slightly open and suppose your in shock.

"Fuck off HANGE!" you both dismiss, not backing down from each other's eyes.

She disappears, talking to herself about the pair of you being rude or something. You don't really care what she said, you are too preoccupied by the jagged rhythm of your heartbeat and sudden dryness in your throat.

"I can read you too you know" you counter resolutely, determined not to lulled into his suddenly mercury eyes. They are drawing you in with a shade of authority, a commanding air to them, dragging you closer.

He gives you and '_Oh_?' expression.

"You are humanities strongest. Lone wolf, tortured soul all that shit. You haven't got any in a while... and you enjoy our arguments just as much as me because you can act like the asshole you are and I don't bat an eyelid. I'm not under any delusion that you are some idolatrous hero oh Capitane" you reel, unveiling some home truths about yourself in the process. You swallow, trying to combat your parched mouth and conflicted realisation that maybe Oluo was right about something.

"It appears we have reached a decision" he notes impassively after a second.

"Indeed" you agree, staring directly into his immovable eyes.

With that he grabs you by the face and kisses you senseless. You latch onto his head with both your hands and mouth inhaling his scent. You're pulling at one another. He is rough and raw, matching the sudden swell of need you feel growing within you. Nobody has ever touched you like this and it's driving you crazy.

You hear somebody 'eep!', presumably Hange, and leave immediately.

You break for air at this.

"Damn it" you grit, feeling his fingertips behind your earlobes.

"They don't give a shit" Levi notes breathlessly, still holding onto your face.

"No. I enjoyed that" you reply, pulling him back to you forcefully.

You can feel him smiling against your mouth as you kiss once more, his tongue delving in. You stand up, battling for dominance in a new found manner. He bites your lip teasingly, wrestling you onto the kitchen table and pinning you down by your forearms. Staring up at the ceiling lamp you rub your lips together, both dubious and positive that you want Levi right now.

"Here?" you ask as he leans over you, standing in the space between your legs.

"They think we're arguing dumbass. As if they will interrupt" he reminds chastely, now paying attention to your neck. He runs his lips down it, teeth raking against your flesh in the most heated of ways. Your heart is set a flutter and alight all at once.

"You cocky git" you say, making sure your voice carries through the shut door.

"Stuck up runt" he replies in the same way.

An involuntary yelp leaps from your chest as his dexterous hands caress your body, running down to your thighs. He silences with his mouth, scooping your back up to bring you closer to him.

"Perhaps we should take Olou seriously more often" you whisper as he rips open your shirt. Bodies flush as a few buttons ping off onto the ground.

"Hm" he grunts into your collar bone "This was the only intelligent suggestion in the entirety of his life"

You chuckle, dragging your nails through his hair as he kisses your freshly exposed body.

"Does that mean you fancy me Heichou?" you ask lightly.

His eyes meet yours with a smoulder that neither confirms nor denies anything "Thanks for saving me earlier" he voices.

"Any time" you reply with a smirk, grabbing his cravat and pulling him into another kiss and winding your legs around his hips. You've locked him there now. He doesn't seem to mind as you leave a trail of pecks along his jaw, grasp on you tightening. You move to his trousers, unzipping them in the small space between your bodies. He watches you, exhaling roughly through his nose. You sense the rush of air down your flushed cheeks and meet his dilated gaze?

"Ready for this fresh out of training cadet to teach you a thing or two?" you ask.

"I think you'll find it will be the other way round, _rookie_" he replies with the lowest of growls.

Turns out Levi was right...oddly enough you didn't object to that statement.


End file.
